Emerg last night

I tried to write a quick update yesterday evening, and then got sidetracked by the night's event.

Dave hasn't felt well for the last 3 or 4 days - VERY nauseous, and it doesn't seem to come and go anymore - it just stays. It's really discouraging for him, as he actually had 2 pretty good weeks with just a few sporadic bad days or hours, but he's been very bad for a few days now. It's a lot of mid back pain, constant nausea, and headaches that come and go. He's bored, and wishes he felt good enough to get out regularly. He had another acupuncture treatment on Wednesday, but it didn't seem as effective as last week. (He felt pretty bad going in, and wasn't able to relax at all, which I think plays a big part in the treatment.) We went for a short walk afterward but he ended up feeling awful by the time we made it back.

Yesterday morning he was as upset as I've ever seen him and at lunch time I was trying to talk him into going to emerg. I thought he might be dehydrated. (The VON nurse comes every Tuesday to check his feeding tube, and his blood pressure was very low again. She had mentioned to Dave once before that he could be dehydrated when his blood pressure was low.) I knew this could be causing a lot of his discomfort, but I've been having difficulty convincing him that he needed to get more fluids in. (He agreed, but felt soooo bad and nauseous, that he insisted that he couldn't put any more in his stomach.) Since things seemed to be getting worse over the course of a few days I was getting worried. I truly thought that getting some IV fluids in him could help him get through a bad spot.

He finally agreed to go to Emerg at about 9pm last night. I explained what he was going through and told them I thought he was dehydrated. They gave him a chest x-ray, blood & urine tests, and monitored his heart rate. After the lab tests came back, they said that yes, he was dehydrated and going in was the right thing to do. They gave him 2 Litres of IV fluid, an anti-nausea med, and the doctor suggested we contact the cancer clinic again to discuss side effects, and maybe monitor the progress of the cancer again with them. (It's been 2 months since we were there.) The anti-nausea meds didn't seem to help him at all, and he was still pretty weak when we walked out of there. We got home at about 3:30 am. And I was pretty late for work today...

I contacted the LRCP (cancer clinic) this morning and although they still insist that because he's not doing chemo or radiation, that his family doctor is qualified to treat him, they agreed to make an appointment to see the oncologist. (I explained that the ER doctor strongly suggested it.) So, this coming Wednesday we'll meet with his oncologist again mainly to discuss what he's been going through.

Dave is A LOT better today. He still doesn't feel great yet, but he's much better than yesterday. He got out a bit, went to Hermes Sports with a friend, and also went to visit family across town briefly. He's pretty tired this evening, which is more than understandable.

When Dave was feeling better a week or so ago, he made plans to go to the Swift Canoe & Kayak Spring Sale at the Guelph Conservation Area with a friend. Yesterday after feeling so crappy he said there was no way he could go. But he's had a fairly good day today and has decided that he thinks he can do it again. (He was really looking forward to it, and he will be bringing lots of fluids with him!) It's about an hour and a half drive each way, plus a few hours at the Conservation Area.

We are still praying that the tumor is breaking down, and that Dave will be able to drink liquids again very soon! Also, although our visit to the hospital last night went fine, and they were very nice and understanding there, I'm  not really looking forward to meeting with his oncologist again on Wednesday. It's not been a great place for us, as they just seem to deliver bad news after bad news, up until now. Please pray that he is somehow encouraging.

Have a great weekend!

Val

good needles?

 Just thought it was time for an update.

Dave has been having more good days than bad days over the last few weeks – which is great! (Although when he’s having a bad day or two, it’s pretty discouraging for him and brings him down somewhat.) As hard as this might be for some to believe, we still firmly believe that Dave’s main tumor in his esophagus is breaking down and he that is why he is still coughing up some pretty stinky, gunky, and occasionally weird stuff.

Last week Dave started acupuncture sessions on the advice of a friend. I was actually a little surprised when he agreed to try it, as I thought his aversion to needles might be an issue. When he said yes, I made a mental note that he wasn’t making the connection to acupuncture and needles, but decided not to bring it up. So, he’s laying there on the table with pins sticking out of his ankles, wrists and stomach and he says, “I DID NOT think this through. I HHHHAAAATE needles.” I started laughing at him. He wasn’t upset, just wondering how he ever agreed to this! When it was done his back and overall discomfort was better, but it didn’t last long. We went again last night for a 2nd treatment and he actually fell asleep at the end of it. (The needles can’t be that bad!) He actually felt and seems much better afterwards, but it just doesn’t seem to be that long lasting so far.

When we got home from acupuncture, he had his obligatory shots of freshly juiced wheat grass, and then he wanted to go for a walk. He hasn’t really gone for a walk (except from the bed to the couch) since Good Friday, so I said “Sure”, of course. It was a short 15 minute walk and Dave’s not walking very quickly these days, but it was still good for him. (Brady’s not used to walking that slowly, so I was fighting with a pulling dog.) About halfway through the effects of acupuncture wore off but it was still good for Dave to be out and moving. I give him a back massage almost every evening which also seems to help relieve muscle tension.

One of the reasons Dave wanted to go for a walk was because of something I read out loud to him at the acupuncturist’s office as he was being treated. She had a book there called “Nutritional Immunology”, written by a Chinese doctor, that I picked up and started reading. There was a paragraph about lymph nodes which was something we’d also learned about at CHI in Michigan. (They, and many other health experts, encourage rebounding (on a mini-trampoline) for your lymphatic system and overall health.) We each have 500-600 lymph nodes throughout our bodies that are responsible for filtering and draining bacteria and cancer cells. We have 4 times the amount of lymph fluid in our bodies than blood. Unlike blood, that is pumped through our bodies by our heart, lymph fluid has no pumping system and relies on muscle action from general activity (ie walking, rebounding) for it’s movement through the body. All cancer therapies recommend getting outside and staying active to help fight cancer.

Dave had been gently rebounding every morning for 15 minutes, up until a few weeks ago, when he just felt awful and thought it was making him feel more nauseous. He did start up again a few days ago though, and last night decided that he was going to try to get outside more to try to build up his strength no matter how badly he feels. (Previously when he felt really bad, he just didn’t want to go for a walk, and when he felt OK he didn’t want to go for a walk because he was worried that it might make him feel bad!)

This evening we drove out to 'Dreamers' and walked out to Diamond 12 to watch his men's baseball team practice. This is the first summer he hasn't played baseball since he was 11 years old. It was a cool night and a little windier out there, so we didn't stay long, but it was good for him to get out briefly and see the guys.

We’re really hoping that Dave’s at a turning point right now. He thankfully has been having fewer and fewer ‘bad’ days, but he still has some pain each day. (The tumor is blocking the bottom of his esophagus, just above his stomach, and and when he has to cough up the ‘stuff’ that collects there, it’s painful for him. Also the feeding tube is still a pain.) When he has ‘bad’ days, this is usually an overall feeling of sickness, nausea and sometimes headaches still. On a bad day he can't even be bothered to turn the tv on, answer the phone and can barely get his food in. We still feel this is part of the ‘healing crisis’ as his body deals with eliminating cancer waste.

Sometimes Dave does still get down if he's feeling crappy. He’s pretty much sick and tired of being sick and tired. Also, being unable to physically eat is emotionally difficult and draining. Regardless, I am convinced that he is beating this already and remind him of this daily. However he’s the one that has to deal with this 24/7 so it’s understandable that he gets frustrated.

For those of you that haven’t seen Dave in a while, his hair is starting to grow back. It’s about 1/2” now, but is very thinned out from the chemo drugs. (He stopped chemo 2 months ago.) It seems to be fuller at the top than the sides right now, so he he's got a bit of a mohican thing going on. Actually a friend from Toronto shaved his hair off to support Dave. He came down to visit a few days later and already had a very heavy 5 o’clock shadow! I’ll have to ask him how his hair looks now.

Anyway, we truly feel that God has heard our prayers, and your prayers, and has assured us that He is in control and Dave will beat this. We are blessed to have so many people praying and family, friends, students or past students that just call and ask how he's doing, or send him an email or mail a letter. Although this is Dave's fight, he doesn't often feel alone through all of this.

Thanks so much.

Oh. I received another delivery of 200lbs of carrots yesterday. Instead of caregiver, Dave has started calling me his carrot-giver.

Val 

A day in the life

Not a lot going on right now, so I thought I’d show you our little hydroponic wheatgrass grow-op in the basement. :)

We’re actually growing barley grass, not wheatgrass right now. They’re both pretty much equally nutritious, and I was given a 50+ lb bag of barley seed when I purchased the unit. I have also grown some wheatgrass and will likely alternate buying both types of seeds.

This is a flat that's about 11 days old.

This shows you the root mass. 
(No soil!)>

It’s in our laundry room, and has a plumbing and drainage hookup. My brother, Nick, very kindly hooked it up for us and has come back a few times for some initial startup glitches and further maintenance. (There was a part that wasn't functioning properly, then the spray nozzles became clogged once and weren’t spraying very well, and most recently the drainage clogged up.) It sprays water for about 1 minute every hour and needs little attention from me, which is a good thing. We, actually my brother Nick, also installed a whole house water filter system to remove chlorine etc..., for the grass as well as for our drinking water and for showering. Fortunately London’s water is already alkaline, which is a good thing all around.

Every day I put in a new tray of seeds and rotate them up through the unit so the older plants get the light at the top. It holds 9 trays and after 9 days it’s technically ready to ‘harvest’, or juice, at that point. However I like to let it grow for a few more days after I remove it from the unit, and it gets another inch or so taller which produces a better yield. (I requested a few additional trays so that I could do this.) It just needs to be harvested before the grass ‘splits’, or starts to change from a sprout to a plant, because the nutrients drop dramatically at that point. Each tray yields about 4 or 5 ounces of fresh juice for Dave each day. Occasionally I buy an additional flat of fresh wheatgrass to supplement what Dave’s getting and I might have a few ounces then as well. I've also been adding frozen wheatgrass to his juices.

Overall I’m pretty happy with the unit, as I couldn’t imagine having to deal with hauling home organic soil and planting up a tray of dirt every day, then dealing with the used tray of dirt, watering the trays appropriately throughout the day, and possibly dealing with mold. I gotta say this is a LOT easier and pretty low maintenance as far as daily needs are concerned. (Although my brother might not agree...) Also, there is apparently no difference in quality if it’s grown in soil or water which was a determining factor as well.

Dave has been having a few good days (Monday & Tuesday) and then a not so good day yesterday. He just woke up feeling a little off, and just felt unwell & nauseous all day. Thankfully no headache. Today was a better day, but he's weak. He still has lower back pain, which is uncomfortable for him and a little weird. (He says it feels just like it did when he injured it years ago.)

I was very thankful to have the cleaning lady back yesterday. (Paid for by some Clarke Road SS staff. Thanks again you guys!) It's awesome to come home from work and into a clean house. Especially one that I didn't have to clean!

Cale's leg is doing OK but still bothers him if he's been standing all day. It's just an bump below his knee now.

Brady is regularly tormented by the rabbits in our back yard. (I think they heard about my stash of carrots.) They hang out near the back door and he can watch them through a back window. He usually stares at them for a good while then runs through the house trying to convince somebody to let him out so he can chase them.

I'm doing well. When the weather is nice I usually take the dog for a bike ride or walk after work.

Staying strong & positive!
Val

Mystery Solved

Well today we finally got closure on the mystery of the 'embedded suture anchor'. Those of you that have been following since December will remember that the VON nurse that came to our home to remove the temporary sutures from Dave's feeding tube, didn't do it correctly. Instead of simply cutting the threads and allowing the small metal anchoring pin to fall into Dave's stomach to be expelled, she tried pulling it out - thinking that it was just a thread. The suture thread broke as she pulled it through his stomach wall, and the pin was left embedded in his chest wall. It was very painful for Dave and has been an ongoing source of pain and grief since then.

So this metal pin has been embedded in his 'innards' somewhere and occasionally and very recently caused him shooting needle-like pains near the site of the feeding tube. This morning when Dave was changing the dressing for the feeding tube, he noticed a bit of blue thread sticking out by the feeding tube. He had actually become so used to discomfort that he had forgotten that the suture anchor was still likely in there. When he realized what it was he grabbed the tweezers, and was able to pull the thread out along with the attached suture anchor pin! Yeah!!! He is extremely relieved and very happy about this. One less thing to worry about and he's actually in a lot less pain today!

Today, and the last few days, Dave's been feeling pretty good. (He felt pretty lousy over the weekend until about Tuesday morning. He actually missed watching a number of the NCAA basketball play-off games over the weekend because he just felt bad and wanted to sleep.) In general, he still usually feels better in the morning and afternoon, and by the evening he's feeling a little rougher. But the last 3 days he's been feeling better than he has for a while.

 I forgot to mention last week that I received my second order of carrots. Yep - for those of you that are curious, 300lbs of juicing carrots lasted less than 5 weeks. I ordered and received 200 lbs last Wednesday and they're stored at my parents. (They live just a few minutes away.) I didn't order as many this time around now that the weather is warming up. I was concerned they wouldn't last as long.

Right now we're very encouraged that Dave's been feeling better over the last three days and that pin is finally gone! It's actually amazing that it's worked it's way a few inches through tissue and that the thread managed to work it's way out for Dave to see it and pull it out. FINALLY!

Val

Easter = Hope!

Just thought I should drop a line to thank everybody for so much encouragement - and for the cards etc... that are dropped off at our door. They're just another way in which Dave is reminded and touched that people are still thinking about him and praying for him.

Yesterday morning we went to the Good Friday service at our church, although it wasn't actually a service, but a 10 hour drop-in day. There was a 'course' set up throughout the church in which to simulate Christ's journey to the cross. There were 12 stations to stop, read, contemplate, and comment on each message. It took us about an hour to do this. Dave was tired, and walks a little slow lately, so we took plenty of time to stop and meditate at each point. One thing that always hits home is that although the blame for Jesus' crucifixion is placed on the corrupt priests that conspired his death along with Judas' help, the reality is that it was our sin that placed him there. He chose the cross as an atonement for us, to reconcile man and God.

Tomorrow we celebrate Easter, where Jesus broke the chains of death and rose from the grave. The empty tomb is our hope. That no matter what happens here on earth, we will spend eternity with Him! That's reassurance!

I know many of you check in regularly, hoping that there would be posts more often. I just want to say that our days are pretty boring right now - which is actually a good thing. (The past 3+ months have felt like a lifetime of drama. Monotony sounds great right about now!) Rest assured that no news is good news!

I do want to say that Dave is continuing to experience what we believe are side effects of detoxing. (Basically he's on a carrot juice/green smoothie detox diet - along with the wheatgrass juice.) This is purely a cleansing and healing diet. He has lost weight and is 190 lbs now. At 6'3", he looks a lot skinnier than what you're used to seeing. He is still coughing up some nasty stuff, but the actual vomiting episodes happen a lot less frequently. (Once a week maybe.) He still gets headaches, and feels nauseous a lot. He basically doesn't feel great. 

Here's some more interesting detox stuff. At the end of last week he started complaining that his right knee was bothering him again. (He had ACL surgery done in 1984 and a recent surgery again on it a few years ago. They told him that he would need a knee replacement, but he was too young.) I didn't think much of it at the time. Then a few days later, he started complaining that his back was really hurting him. (His upper back and chest area has been hurting him for months - I think from the feeding tube, muscle pain around the tumor, and just from being inactive because he's sick.) But this was different.  He said, "It's crazy, but it feels just like it did when I put my lower back out a few years ago!" (He seriously injured his lower back a couple of times over the past 8 years and was bedridden for weeks.)

As soon as he said that, I remembered something I read about this woman's story. (The short version is that she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast cancer and given 6 months to live - 8+ years ago. She beat it with raw food, wheatgrass, and a few other things like visualization and stuff.) In her story she talks about a period where an old injury flared up. So I did some more research, and it's very common that during a serious detox, a 'healing crisis' occurs where old injuries and illnesses come back while your body works through them again. (Our bodies are crazy and we don't understand them at all really!) I told Dave this and read him her story, which was reassuring.

Then a few days later, he said, 'This is crazy - now my hernia is bothering me!' (He had hernia surgery exactly a year ago.) I asked him again later, and he said his knee isn't bothering him anymore, but now his right shoulder hurts. He had problems with his shoulder years ago from baseball!!!
It's crazy!

I won't get into it too much, but if you google 'Healing Crisis' it explains a lot, and basically it's a necessary turning point for actual healing. (For those of you that think this is nonsense, trust me - about 6 months ago I would have been in your camp too!) Regardless, despite that fact that Dave really does feel like crap, we're both very encouraged and know that we've chosen the right path here. We don't know how long this will go on for, but there is hope at the end!

Thanks as always for your concern and prayers.

Val

Prisoners of Hope

It's finally the weekend. Another week down, and it's been an interesting week. This evening we watched NCAA basketball in the dark for Earth hour. (Unfortunately the tv did not get turned off, and for the record West Virginia upset Kentucky.)

I'm going to share some info that is encouraging to us, but is a little difficult to write. There are a few reasons for this. If you're anything like me, you're skeptical by nature and might have a hard time believing this. Plus some of this post is more graphic in nature than I'd normally discuss, let alone write about. But we're sharing and we want people to pray effectively so here goes...

I'll have to back up a bit. After Dave had been on the raw food diet for a few weeks we noticed the he had no bad breath, or body odour, and this is silly, but didn't 'pass gas' anymore either. Now this might seem weird, but this is actually something that raw foodists comment on, that they have no bad breath or body odour because of what you're putting in your body - and what you're not putting in. (During initial detox however, you likely will have odours.)

Now fast forward a month and things seem to be changing. We have been trying to figure out why Dave is not starting to feel significantly better after stopping chemotherapy - he's eating the healthiest food around.(Organic raw vegetables and fruit, and juicing.) At his last visit at the cancer clinic a few weeks ago, they said his lungs etc... were clear and he seemed relatively healthy. But he doesn't seem to be getting better or stronger, and in fact things seem to be getting worse. He started vomiting, and the episodes seemed to be increasing in frequency. And when he coughs his breath has become awful. As some of you are aware, Dave hasn't been able to swallow his own saliva for about 3 weeks. (Actually, he CAN swallow, but he tries not to, because it doesn't get past the tumor. It collects, and then makes him sick, so he spits in a cup instead.) To avoid getting too gross, I'll skip some of the side effects. But the short version is that last week we were wondering if the new smell when he coughs and what he's been spitting up had something to do with the tumor changing. (We didn't know if this was changing for better or worse, and when we felt hopeful, we also thought we might be grasping at straws.) Last weekend we were both feeling pretty discouraged. Dave seemed to be doing really poorly. (Hot and cold flashes, bad headaches, nausea, vomiting - and the tumor smelling.) Dave's mom texted me to remind me not to pay attention to the wind and waves or I'd sink, which was very good advice. Monday was a little better and a friend called and asked if we'd go to the healing service at Northpark that night. Dave was feeling well, but still hesitant, especially after feeling so bad from a short trip to a nearby Chapters over the weekend. (I was afraid he was going to pass out and I might need to ask for help to get him back to the car.) Anyway, we decided at the last minute to go to Northpark. It was a good evening and we were there for a few hours and Dave did fine. One woman praying with us, started praying that every time that Dave coughed or spit, he would be spitting out the tumor. (This is what we've been praying for - pretty much every day. How could she really be familiar with this?) On Monday evening Dave woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

Some of you may be wondering why we wouldn't ask our oncologist about this - the bad side effects and the smell. If you recall - the chemo failed halfway through, and we declined radiation because the little benefit it might offer wasn't worth the very serious side effects of radiating around vital organs. (Again, they remind us that they can't cure this - the purpose of chemo & radiation was just try to shrink the tumor and gain a few months. Also the 2nd opinion radiation oncologist we met with at Princess Margaret Hospital told us that if Dave were his  brother, he wouldn't do radiation. He said to stay as healthy as he can for as long as he can.) The week after our appointment with the radiation oncologist, I called the cancer clinic to ask which doctor we should contact with any concerns. The next day they called back to tell us to contact our family doctor if we need medical attention. It doesn't really make a lot of sense to me, as I would think that an oncologist would be better able to deal and treat the symptoms of cancer than a GP. But the reality is that if you're not seeing the Medical Oncologist for chemotherapy, or the Radiation Oncologist for radiation treatment - they have nothing else to offer. Not surprisingly it doesn't really bother us - as they're just a constant reminder that Dave's cancer is incurable. They're depressing and a big part of surviving something like this is optimism. Yesterday, we went to see our GP just to check-in. It's a little less stressful than the cancer clinic. We asked him some questions, about what Dave was going through, but he didn't really know. He said he would just just treat symptoms as they came up.

Back to the positive stuff, on Tuesday I came across some information regarding 'lysing', or 'tumor lysis'. "DETOXIFICATION

This process of the cancer cells breaking down is called "lysing," which is a detoxification process. Some people have fully recovered from their cancer with no outward signs of detoxing at all. People with a lot of cancer or fast-growing cancer will often see mucous like material in their feces and/or urine, or experience a runny nose or crusty eyes in the morning. Sometimes, people will even cough or vomit up mucous like whitish stuff. If any of this happens, it can generally be taken as a good sign that dead cancer cell parts are being ejected out of the body." Dave has been experiencing all of these symptoms for almost 2 weeks now.

I did some more digging and came across a page that described in-depth the side effects of lysing that almost ENTIRELY describe what Dave's been experiencing recently. We had been so discouraged lately, that we'd been praying and begging for something positive to encourage us. After reading this new info, we're were cautiously optimistic that the main tumor might be breaking up. Then late Tuesday evening I came across more encouraging information. I had purchased a book online that arrived Tuesday. ('The Gerson Therapy' - it's an alternative cancer therapy that is very similar to what Dave's doing, but they allow different foods etc...) We went to bed, I prayed for Dave, and then opened the book. And I kid you not, but the VERY FIRST PAGE I opened to was about a 46 year old man giving his survival story. He had cancer of the esophagus and larynx and was given a poor prognosis. He read one of the Gerson books twice, and then decided to do it as he had nothing to lose. He said that after 1 1/2 months, he could tell the tumor was dying as the smell was vile. He said that it was an awful time for him as well. Then he went on to say that after few months had passed, he was walking into a hardware store, and felt the tumor flutter and vibrate and then fall away. He swallowed it without thinking, but then collapsed in a panic. He doesn't remember how but he drove the 20 minutes home, and realized what had happened. In hindsight he said that he should have tried to vomit it up but wasn't thinking clearly. He said that he was violently ill for a week as his body absorbed and then got rid of the toxins from the tumor.

You may not understand how encouraging this is to us, but up until then, I have been unable to find any personal stories of people overcoming Esophageal Cancer. I apologize for how gross this post is, but in order to share what's going on, there was no avoiding it. (And actually, I could go more in depth with other side effects which really seems to make us think this is the tumor starting to break down, but it's a little too gross.) It might be the fact that we're feeling more positive, but Dave seems to be feeling a little better this week. We realize that this is just the beginning, and Dave has a huge uphill battle ahead of him, but we are not giving up. We will prove the doctors wrong.

I have stolen the name of this post from another woman's site. She overcame a very bad terminal cancer in 1990 using an alternative therapy as well. It is very encouraging and "Prisoners of Hope" does aptly describe how we feel.

Although we're by no means out of the woods, this has really encouraged us. The true test will be when Dave is able to swallow liquids again. So for those of you that are of the faith, please continue to pray that the main tumor will just break down, and that the cancer that spread to his lymph nodes and liver would just disappear. Cancer disappearing and healthy cells regrowing has happened before, and we're praying that it will happen again.

God bless!

Val

First Day of Spring

After a week of almost summer-like weather, spring has finally arrived here in Southwestern Ontario! Unfortunately it's feeling a little wintery around here again today.

Dave has been enjoying March Madness for a week or so. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this, it's the NCAA basketball championship tournaments. For those of you that still don't quite get it, it's a phenomenon that sends hardcore American college basketball fans into a frenzy every year. Around here, it's like the Olympics - don't even think about changing the channel. Dave's not a big NBA fan. (I believe he refers to them as hoodlums.) However college basketball is an entirely different entity. These are players, coaches, and fans that live, breathe, eat, and die for the love of basketball. There's a lot of excitement, and many edge of your seat, nail-biting games. Good clean fun!

Also, I keep forgetting to mention that Dave did receive the TVDSB Award of Distinction. Fifty five people were nominated, and 21 were chosen this year. There is a ceremony and reception in May. In an earlier post about this, I mentioned that Dave has mixed feelings about this. Although he's honored to have been chosen, he feels that there are many others in his school that are equally, or more deserving. There were 10 letters of reference and there could easily have been more, but 10 is the maximum allowed with the nomination. These are heart tugging letters and are all true reminders of Dave's heart, and his desire to help the underdog in many cases. I've assured him that he deserves it.

Dave's week has been pretty full I think. He does have a lot of friends that want to come by to visit. Although the beginning and middle of the week weren't too bad for him, the last few days and today weren't very good. He just isn't feeling great, has occasional nausea (he thinks from the tumor's location), and is unfortunately still dealing with the fact that he can't swallow even liquids. He has been sick a few times and it's brutally painful for him. This evening we went briefly to Chapters as Dave wanted to get out and pickup a few magazines. It was tough. He is just not feeling strong, and seems to have spells where he just needs to stop and sit down. We were only there for about 15 minutes, and that was long enough. We got home and I must say that he did perk up pretty quickly when he turned the basketball games back on!

He's been reading the paper this evening and he found this article quite amusing but a sad commentary on what we feed our children. (Although it was in today's London Free Press, it doesn't seem to be in the online version of our paper. But here is a different link to the story.) It was titled "Not so happy meal turns 1 year". A nutritionist bought a happy meal and left it in her office for a year. It didn't rot or decompose at all.

And this is 'food' that is geared to children. That's pretty sad.

Thanks again for checking in and for praying for Dave, Cale, & I. 

Val

It was light out 'til 7:30 tonight!

Hi all. Just another post to check in with you. I was planning on posting last night, but I somehow lost an hour over the weekend and just ran out of time.

The end of last week were pretty bad days. Dave generally felt pretty crappy, had headaches, and wasn't able to keep a few of his meals down, which is really painful for him. The weekend was pretty good though. On Saturday night we went to our friend Mark's birthday party for a few hours. It's good to get out and Dave felt OK.

At the end of last week I was also able to speak directly with another surgeon out of St. Michael's Hospital in Toronto regarding options to ease Dave's swallowing problem. (Dave's thoracic surgeon here in London gave me his name and said he was the only doctor he knew of doing PDT for Esophageal Cancer.) I faxed him some of Dave's reports and he actually called me back the same day. He said that laser therapy and PDT (Photodynamic Therapy) weren't recommended for the stage and size of Dave's cancer, and he said that he would also recommend a stent for Dave's situation. This is what his surgeon here in London said was his only option. I think I've mentioned this before, but a stent is a self-expanding flexible mesh tube that they insert in his esophagus to keep the tumor growth back. It's an outpatient procedure and Dave would be able to eat again in 24 hours. Although his doctor assured me that there are little complications, I have read that there is risk of the stent slipping down and can become uncomfortable. (I also recall the second opinion doctor we spoke with in January mentioning this problem exactly as well.) Also, it's only 1/2" in diameter and his doctor mentioned that the most common problem is people becoming overzealous and trying to eat steak dinners etc... and food can become stuck.

At this point, Dave would prefer to hold off on the stent and just deal with the inability to swallow for now. There are two reasons for this. The stent apparently can't be removed after it's been in for a few weeks, which means it becomes permanent. Although the doctors don't understand this, we are still optimistic for healing through the grace of God, and so don't want the stent. Secondly, Dave really doesn't want to have to deal with something else that could have complications and cause other difficulties for him. He's concerned that it may become uncomfortable and will just become a new issue to contend with. 

Right now poor Dave is regularly tormented by food commercials on television. It's funny how you never notice this kind of thing, but there are A LOT of food and restaurant commercials. Food is such a social thing. People just get together and eat. That's what we do. Dave usually watches them, longingly, and is doing pretty well, but it does take it's toll over time and occasionally it's very trying for him. I guess it's just another challenge to overcome.

Yesterday some of his family came down to visit him. His 5 year old nephew was curious about the feeding tube. It was lunch time and Dave had to eat, so he showed John how it worked. Then he let him push the food in with the syringe. (We returned the feeding pump because of it's irritation factor - It's noisy.) Dave would rather just use big syringes and do it himself. Also it's easier to use syringes with the raw food diet than the pump. Anyway, John was pushing the syringe and his mom said, "He is never going to stop talking about this - I can tell right now!" Kids are so cute! They don't even think things like a feeding tube are strange. If it's normal to you - it's normal to them.

Today Dave was feeling pretty good for most of the day. His mom came down to visit and help him to sort through some school paperwork he brought home a few months ago. He was doing OK until a few hours ago and unfortunately was unable to keep his meal down. It's extremely painful for him, but he did feel better shortly afterwards. He actually said his back was feeling better afterwards than it had in a long time. Go figure. I'm really hoping with spring on the way, that Dave starts feeling up to getting outside and going for short walks every day and gets out in the fresh air again. I know that spring is good for the soul. (It is for me anyway!)

Everyday we hope and pray for a better day than the last. Thanks for your continued concern and prayers!

Val

Not feeling great today

Hi All!

Well Dave was able to make it to the Leafs game in Toronto yesterday with his uncle. (They left at around 3:30 and so he had to bring his food with him. Unfortunately Dave's unable to even swallow liquids at this point, and is using the feeding tube 100%.) Dave felt well yesterday and they had a good time! It was a good game, and the Leafs beat Boston in overtime.

This past Sunday our friend Mark organized a prayer day for Dave. It was a good feeling to know that at any point during the day, somebody was praying for us! And I do have to say that Dave felt pretty good all day on Sunday.

We had a bit of  'drag' news today. We were looking into photodynamic therapy at an alternative health center in Burlington, but unfortunately they don't have the facilities for an endoscope - which is required to use PDT for esophageal cancer. (They can only surface treat.) I have another doctor I'm trying to reach at St Michael's Hospital in Toronto. (We're looking into PDT to clear the tumor a bit so Dave can swallow again.)

Today wasn't a good day for Dave. He wasn't able to keep his meal down this morning, and just felt uncomfortable and in occasional pain for most of the day. We're not sure if it was just too long a day for him yesterday, but we're hoping that tomorrow's a better day! He was able to 'eat' and keep it down earlier this evening, and he seems to be feeling a little better now.

Thanks to everybody that's been praying for us! It's hard some days, but we're staying positive!

Val

Update

Hi All.

It's been a few days, so I thought I'd give a quick update.

Dave feels OK, but still tires very quickly if he tries to do anything - even just around the house. (Might just be an excuse to get out of housework...) On Thursday evening he went to the Knight's game with a friend. This evening he went out to an OHL game with a friend. (He really does have to plan for these by not doing anything throughout the day or he's entirely wiped. And sometimes he finds that he just can't do something, despite his plans.) This Tuesday evening he plans on going to Toronto to watch the Leafs play Boston. (A friend he reconnected with last year has been wanting to see an NHL game together.) Although I worry and think he should just take it easy and rest, it's also important to have things to look forward to, and to get out of the house. Dave's uncle is driving him down and going to the game as well.

On Friday afternoon I finally heard back from Dave's Thoracic surgeon regarding Dave's inability to swallow even liquids anymore. He strongly recommends putting a stent in - that's what they do, and that's all they offer here. I asked about laser therapy, and he said they used to do laser therapy years ago, but no longer do. It's extremely labour intensive for them, there's risk of perforation - which is a bad thing, and  he says the tumor grows back within weeks. I also asked about photodynamic therapy, and he said that it's normally only done on earlier stage esophageal tumors, and they don't do it here it London anyway. He only knew of one person that does them. He gave me the name - a doctor at St Michaels Hospital in Toronto. I will contact try to contact this doctor next week. Another friend gave us a lead on another place that does photodynamic therapy in Burlington, but after looking at their website, I have a feeling that they only use it on skin cancer. I call them yesterday as well, but the contact name I was given, as well as the Doctor were off on Friday. Hopefully they call back Monday.

Dave has to use the feeding tube 100% now. Fortunately we can still do the raw diet (juices and green smoothies etc...) through the tube. And Dave prefers not to have to drink the wheatgrass anyway! He does however salivate at all the food commercials on tv. I feel so bad for him... I try not to eat in front of him.

Tomorrow our friends Mark & Chris arranged a 12 hour prayer day for Dave, through the facebook page they set up. It awesome that you all are so supportive! More than anything we believe in the power of prayer and in Jesus Christ.

We still remain positive and are taking one day at a time!

Val

Hello March

Well  March is here, the Olympics are over, and the good guys won the gold medal game yesterday!
And Dave is now resigned to watching Oprah, Ellen, and Dr Oz! Just kidding. He insists that he watches nothing but sports highlights and olympic replays.

This morning we went to the LRCP for a consult with the Radiation Oncologist. Man that was frustrating. He said the only option (as a next step) is radiation, which would happen 5 days a week for 6 to 7 weeks and has a slew of it’s own side effects and risks with no guarantee that it will improve anything either. And the side effects would last another 4-6 weeks. (So 3 months of misery.) The side effects range from added pain and discomfort of the esophagus for sure, to potential for low blood counts and infections, absesses which he mentioned might feel like you're having a heart attack and should go to emerg. After chemo failed, we're obviously a little shy of radiation and I gotta say that he had no strong selling points. Also, he made it very clear that Dave can't have any anti-oxidants while doing radiation for 7 weeks as it negates the effects of radiation. It bothers us that in addition to damaging the immune system during treatment, you can't work on boosting it during this time.

I tried to discuss 2 other options (laser therapy & photodynamic therapy) to temporarily relieve the blockage and make Dave more comfortable, but he said they weren’t options because of the size of the tumor. We asked for a referral back to the thoracic surgeon Dave saw originally as I would prefer to get his opinion directly, and he said he would call them, but gave us the impression that they might not even be willing to spend the time to consult because basically radiation is just the next step and that’s the way it is. Take it or leave it.
I feel like kicking him in the shins...

He said he would go ahead and make plans for radiation while we think it over because it takes weeks to get things started anyway. (We obviously have the option to not go through with it.) The other thing that is frustrating is that he mentioned that they would prefer to have a PET scan done before radiation as it shows the cancer cells (including dormant cells) more clearly, but often OHIP won’t pay to have this done for poor prognosis cases. All he can do is put in a request and see what happens. Which, if I understand correctly, means that their radiation treatment won't be as good as it could/should be. It certainly wasn't a very good sell job.

So now we wait for phone calls. I actually called the surgeons office last Monday to try to get an appointment happening on my own, but to no avail. I will start pestering again tomorrow. Squeaky wheel...

We were discouraged earlier in the day but realized that we shouldn't be. The more frustrated we become with traditional treatment, the more alternative treatment makes sense here. Don't get me wrong, there's certainly a place for traditional medicine and after 2 recent sports injuries requiring surgeries in the last two years, I would actually be crippled right now without traditional medicine. There are areas where it excels and there are other areas (like oncology) where it feels like they're stabbing in the dark and hoping for the best. Fortunately we can rest our faith in Jesus Christ and know that he has a perfect plan. 

Yesterday Dave & I went to church, a friend from Toronto came by to visit afterwards, and then Dave went out to watch the Olympic Gold medal hockey game at a friends with a few guys from his baseball team . It was a great game, but Dave says that he still doesn't like Sydney Crosby! Hahaha! Dave also wants to thank Taylor for coming by to shovel our driveway on Saturday after all that snow we had. (Cale shovelled as well, but his leg is still sore from the car accident last Monday evening, and actually looks horrible now that gravity has hit the bruise.)

Thank you everyone for your emails, phone calls, prayer and support.

Have a great weekend!

Val

Upcoming appointment

I forgot to mention in my last post that we have an appointment on Monday morning to see the Radiation Oncologist again. (We originally saw him a week after Dave was diagnosed back in December. He said that Dave needed chemo first and then they'd add radiation halfway through chemo.) Last week the medical oncologist (chemo doctor) said we should still discuss radiation even though chemotherapy failed. The purpose would be to temporarily shrink the tumor to make it easier for Dave to swallow. (It's temporary, because the tumor will grow back as far as they're concerned, and I believe he told us in December that they can only radiate an area once.) Dave has no desire to go through radiation, mainly because they've told us it's not a cure, and  we believe it will likely do irreparable damage. The doctor we spoke with a week ago said that it would actually feel worse than it does right now at first as it will be inflammed for a while. We will meet with the doctor, but will definitely be discussing all of our options and side effects. I am trying to research what options are out there, so I'll know what questions to ask. Please pray for wisdom/direction in this next step to alleviate some of Dave's discomfort.

Dave has been having more discomfort and pain over the past two weeks. (He noticed that his swallowing, and the tumor in general, felt different a few days before the catscan 2 weeks ago.) Swallowing is becoming more difficult for him. He does have the feeding tube in still, which he hasn't used for over a month, but may become necessary again. (He could take carrot juice etc... through the tube directly, he just seems to be pretty stubborn about that right now.) The pain in his upper chest from the tumor has been steadily increasing this week. In general, mornings seem to be better for Dave, and by the evening he's whooped. He hasn't really been taking any pain meds for quite a while, but did take a Tylenol 3 last night

Today a friend came by before dinner with their dog to play with Brady in our yard. (Thanks James!) Brady & Beau had a blast. We have a big yard and Beau will chase balls thrown with a Chuck-it endlessly. Although Brady isn't a big fetcher, he does like to chase Beau! The best way to drain a dogs energy is to throw another dog in the mix! Brady has currently gone with another friend this evening. (Their little girl called and asked if Brady could go over for a sleepover with their dog Bear. Very cute!)

We had planned on going over to friends this evening to watch the Canada-Slovakia hockey game. Dave really wanted to go, as it's nice to get out, but then started to feel pretty bad as we were getting ready to leave. Although he can be fine for a while, he will get pain that comes and goes and it's just awkward. He's just more comfortable at home right now. 

 I know this post sounds a little depressing, but thought we'd let you know what's going on so people can pray effectively. Please pray for relief for Dave from this pain and discomfort. Also pray for direction on Monday with the Radiation Oncologist. We'd like to be referred back to the Thoracic surgeon again to see if there's a less invasive outpatient treatment that could be done in lieu of radiation, like laser therapy to open the esophagus up somewhat. Although it's hard to stay positive when he's in pain, we still believe there's hope! Although he's still really tired, most of the chemo side effects have faded. The neuropathy seems to have gone completely, as well as the mouth sores that were starting up. He has lost weight, but his skin looks really good, and his hands were really dry and a mess, but are looking much better this week.

A few times a week, the VON nurse comes in to check on Dave, and make sure his feeding tube site looks OK. (I unfortunately have to work every day, so I rarely see them.) Today he said there was a new male nurse from Turkey. He was obviously aware of Dave's cancer and commented that it was great to see how positive Dave was. They got talking, and Dave told him about the Raw Living Food diet, detoxing, & wheatgrass juice that he's started to fight the cancer and the nurse was very interested and wrote down a lot of stuff, including the name of where we went in Michigan. He ended up staying and talking for over an hour and said that although Western Medicine is great, there is a lot to be said about the food we eat. He said back home they only eat fresh food - little packaged food is available. You go to the market buy your fresh fruits & vegetables, and many homes don't have fridges, so they have to buy fresh food every day or two. He said the extent of our illnesses are unheard of back home. He told Dave that he was amazed how positive he was and his ability to make people around him feel positive. Anyway they had a really good talk that seemed beneficial for both of them!

I apologize again if this post seems a little depressing at first, but we are trusting in God and are not panicking.

Dave hopes he feels well enough to hang out with friends on Sunday afternoon to watch the gold medal hockey game. (Like I said, he feels best in the morning, and worse in the evening, so hopefully the afternoon isn't too bad.)

Have a good weekend!

Val

Seeing Orange

Organic carrots! We got 'em. 

When, I placed the order on Friday, I decided to change it from 400 lbs to only 300 lbs. That's about 1 1/2 month supply. I'm storing them in my parent's fruit cellar and they should be fine, but I was slightly concerned that at 2 months I might have some rotting carrots, so I thought I'd err on the side of caution. I also got some  organic blueberries, and celery at wholesale, as well as some more wheatgrass! (These people were very nice and the only reason I haven't mentioned the name of the supplier is because they don't normally sell to the public and I don't want other people bothering them.) Anyway, I'm very glad to have the carrots on hand. We go through so many of them that I just seemed to be constantly buying and hauling home organic carrots from the grocery store. 

On another note, we had a bit of a scare here on Monday at the end of the snow storm we were having. Cale was helping a friend move and while his friend was driving them home, a large pickup with a plow on the front of it, lost control, crossed the road and hit them head on! Cale called and said he was OK, but that his knee was hurting him because it jammed into the glove box on impact. (At 6'8", that's not hard to do!) He got home a few hours later and said he was fine. I asked him to do me a favour and go put gas in my car. I went to bed, and shortly after Cale came back and was in a lot of pain. He was looking for an ice pack and could barely stand, let alone walk. He said the motion of using the gas pedal and the vibration of the vehicle just started hurting and then quickly turned to shooting pain. He crawled to the couch, rolled up his pant leg and it looked like a huge baseball just below his right knee! I'm not talking a bump, it was a huge purple ball that looked like it was ready to explode! I said, "Yeah. I'm taking you to emerg", and after arguing with him briefly about it, he agreed. I dug out Dave's old crutches from the basement, and then I ended up just dropping Cale off, as it was 1:00am, I was exhausted, and he didn't want me to go in with him anyway. (I'm sure I would have just slept in the waiting room, while he spent the whole time texting his friends.) I told him to call me when he was done, and I'd go back & pick him up. (We only live a few minutes from the hospital.) Thankfully, he had a friend pick him up and bring him home in the middle of the night. So, apparently he has a broken vein that created the huge blood blister. They told him that it would likely continue to bleed for a few more days and then will start healing. He's supposed to take it easy for a few days. (There goes my dog walker/snow shoveller.) Yesterday the bump looked much better, and Cale was still using 1 crutch. Today he ditched the crutch, but is walking with a limp. Sigh... Thankfully a neighbour had kindly plowed out our driveway earlier on Monday evening, and it stopped snowing. This evening we gave Brady a bone to keep him busy. (He loved it and it definitely kept him busy all evening!)

Today, Dave went with a friend to Parkhill to watch the Clarke Road girls final hockey game. It was an important game, they won (yeah!), and he was glad he went. Dave's spirits have been up and he's really been keeping positive, and actually has been keeping us both positive! He always seems to know the right thing to say if I'm feeling down. He's awesome!

Have a great evening!

Val

New week

It's been a tough few days since I posted last. I've been a little down, and Dave's been a little discouraged with his lack of progress in getting rid of the chemo side effects. (I was a little optimistic in thinking that he'd start to feel a little better days after chemo finished.) It's been a bit of a mental block to get past the frustration of realizing how much harm chemo did, with no benefit. But the reality is that we had to go through it to get to the point we're at now.

And so we move on.

A number of positive things have happened in the last few days. On Friday Dave was nominated by his school for the Thames Valley District School Board 2010 Award of Distinction. He was given a copy of the letters that were submitted by a number Clarke Road Secondary School staff members, as well as parents, and past students. (These letters are what the selection committee bases their decision on.) They were all very touching and remind me what a big heart Dave has! Dave was very humbled by it all and in all honesty doesn't feel he deserves it. I reminded him that everything in those letters and every story was true, and he's very deserving of the recognition. I have no idea when they make their decision but it's pretty neat!

On Saturday Dave had plenty of company and I ran errands mainly to check out the Farmer's Market at the fairgrounds, and Slegers Organic Farm in Strathroy. (I bought some more fresh wheatgrass at Slegers!)

This morning we went to church, and then went to visit friends in the north end. Then a friend drove Dave to Strathroy to watch a girls OBA (Ontario Basketball Association) game. A friend of Dave's coaches a team and Dave knows a few of the girls and recently encouraged a Clarke Road student to try out for the team. When he got there, the girls presented him with a basketball that they had all signed for him and had put a crest on the shoulder of their uniforms.

They gave Dave his own shirt with the crest! (In case the picture doesn't show up properly for you, it says "IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING" STAY STRONG MR. RICHARDS!

Very fun and very encouraging!

This evening a friend came over to watch the Olympic hockey game. (Unfortunately, as you all know, the bad guys won.) I went to visit my parents after dinner and when I came home Dave had a lovely fire going.

It's a new week, and all we can do is take it from here! 

Have a great week everybody and thanks for checking in!

Val