TVDSB Award Night

 I apologize for all of you that have been hoping for an update sooner than this. It’s just been a very busy few days, and I had no time on Wednesday or Thursday to write this.

On Wednesday we had an appointment with Dave's oncologist. The doctor in the ER last week strongly suggested we set up an appointment to check in with him, as it had been a few months since we'd been in there. Going in we felt the purpose was just to discuss symptoms that Dave's been dealing with and see where he thought the cancer was at. (The symptoms being pretty much constant nausea, occasional vomiting, occasional headaches, chest pain around the feeding tube, back pain, extreme fatigue, hands tingling & feet falling asleep. We also wanted to ask about symptoms that we think are encouraging like the ‘chunks’ of things Dave brings up and the fact that recently when he’s brought up some of his dinner, it’s not violent anymore at all. It seems to pass easily by the tumor now, when in the past the force required to make it past the tumor was very violent.) Again, I apologize for the graphic detail – but that’s where we’re at and we have no shame anymore.He seemed at a total loss as to why we would want to speak to him - as he had no test results to review and no chemo to prescribe. Apparently he doesn't just 'see' his patients. I explained that after being in the ER last week for dehydration, the doctor there strongly suggested we follow up with our oncologist because it had been a few months. He very sarcastically said’, “What a wise ER doctor.” - like “I’ll have to track him down and tell him never to do that again”.

I also mentioned my displeasure at being told on more than one occasion that we should be seeing our family doctor at this point. I don't feel that's right - as GP's refer patients to specialists for a reason. He told me that it's because of the way the hospital receives their funding, they receive more money for new patients, - so there is a lot of support for new patients but very little support for patients like Dave. (My growing suspicions that chemotherapy & radiation are a lucrative business are being reinforced at this point.) I pointed out that I didn't believe that he or anybody that worked there would send a loved one to their GP, and he said they'd be in dire straits if all cancer patients insisted on seeing an oncologist. ??? Really? It's unreasonable for a cancer patient to want to see an oncologist?

We talked about some of the symptoms Dave was having, like constant nausea, occasional vomiting, occasional headaches, chest pain mainly around the feeding tube, back pain, extreme fatigue, hands tingling & feet falling asleep. A few of these are apparently residual effects of chemotherapy, and for the remainder they suggest pain meds and/or anti-nausea meds. (I was hoping to find the source of the nausea, not mask it.)  We also wanted to ask about symptoms that we think are encouraging like the ‘stinky chunks’ of things Dave brings up and the fact that recently when he’s brought up some of his dinner, it seems to pass easily by the tumor now, when in the past the force required to make it past the tumor was very violent and extremely painful. (Again, I apologize for the graphic detail – but that’s where we’re at and we have no shame anymore.) He can’t be sure, but thinks the chunks are likely bacterial secretions, and the fact that the contents of his stomach going up past the tumor more easily are likely just the digestive system adapting. ???

At this point Dave doesn’t want to do another catscan because he said he feels like a toxic soup after it’s done with all the chemicals they inject you with, and the doctor didn’t think a catscan was necessary either. The bottom line is that until Dave is able to drink again on his own, nobody will take notice – which is understandable.

The only good thing that came out of it was that he referred us to another oncologist for future visits, likely because I complained about being sent to our GP for follow up. We had her once, when he (our regular oncologist) was away, and I really liked her. (Much younger than him, and obviously less jaded.) We’re supposed to see her in 3 weeks, but I’m sure Dave won’t want to go. He didn’t want to go to this appointment either, but I pushed him. As a caregiver, thought it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately being there is depressing and it takes days to screw your head back on to get in a positive state when you’re done.

On Wednesday he also had acupuncture session, which went very well. He fell asleep through it again, and said that his back felt much better. In addition to sticking pins in him (I’m sure there’s a better term for that), she has used a ‘moon car’ to quickly massage his back first.  It’s a funny little device with magnets in each wheel and he said it felt great. (I’m not even going to attempt to explain the purpose of it and how the magnets help.)  I apparently need to locate and buy one of these things. He also asked her to show me this funny technique of rolling the skin up along his spine with your fingers that feels good, but hits painful points as well, yet this is a good thing somehow. It’s easy and seems to really help him. I think I’m finding a new vocation. Somehow we've crossed over from being a couple of ibuprofen lovin' junkies to alternative therapy seeking vegans.

On a positive note, last night  was the award ceremony for the TVDSB Award of Distinction. It was a long evening for Dave as his limit for heading out somewhere is  usually only about an hour long, and this was over 3 hours. We're happy that he felt up to going and that he was able to stay for the whole evening without much discomfort. When we got home he had a lot of back pain though. He had a rough night and is still spent today. The evening was special and we’re so happy that he was able to go. He had a large number of fans (co-workers, family) that showed up and cheered for him when he got up to receive his award. We stayed afterwards and Dave chatted with his friends. It was good to get out.

This is the paragraph they read about Dave as he received his reward:

"Dave's effect on Clarke Road is like the ripples of a stone dropped into a pond. The ripple effect is far reaching into the community of students, staff and families." - A colleague

"Dave's personal life and teaching career truly embody the Board's Vision of a "Caring, Learning Community." His passion for teaching not only the curriculum but also life's lessons in the classroom, on the sports field, and in the halls during those teachable moments make him a positive role model for both students and staff. Dave is a teacher who has a special touch with students who are "hard to reach," listening to them and offering helpful advice. Students just seem comfortable talking to Dave about what is going on in their lives. Outside of the classroom, Dave uses coaching as another opportunity to encourage students to develop good character traits such as discipline, teamwork and perseverance. He leads by example in promoting compassion, trust, loyalty and mutual respect. Everyone at the school remembers when he gave a developmentally challenged student the opportunity to participate on the Clarke Road hockey team. Though the student could not play, Dave made him a member of the coaching staff. When the student later died of his medical condition, Dave built a cabinet to mount the boy's hockey sweater in the school foyer. The depth of concern he holds for all youth is remarkable. He continuously raises the bar for himself, his colleagues and his students through his personal quest to engage, support and challenge everyone to reach their full potential."

Right now it’s a little easier for Dave to be upbeat when he’s not feeling too badly, but when he’s uncomfortable for days it really wears on him physically & mentally. He really just wants to start feeling better again. 

Thanks to everybody for your encouragement, support, and prayers. It’s all so important right now.

Val